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if i were a performance artist...

posted Jun 7, 2010, 12:00 AM by William Brine   [ updated Jun 7, 2010, 12:14 AM ]
...I would do a piece in which I acted out, in "RL", the behaviors one sees in "social networks" online.

  • Either walk around in a pair of goggles and earmuffs with selective "spam blockers" and "ignore filters".
  • See an attractive woman?  Follow her around, search her purse, and make vulgar motions while shouting "fap fap fap".  Or loudly criticize minor imagined flaws or make assumptions about her personal life.  If she rejects my charming approach, point and loudly accuse her of being a lesbian.
  • Walk into a store, fill my cart, and then leave, without paying.
  • Shout innane racist homophobic knuckle dragging diatribes, supplemented by heresy and dubious anecdotes.  Be outraged at any opposition or objection and accuse them of <insert insane shit here>.
  • Plant a garden, post giant signs everywhere letting everyone know you have a garden and telling them where to find it.  Accost and cajole those that pass by to hand knead manure and mulch to help you out.  Follow them home and wait till late at night.  Wake em up and get them to come over and help some more.
  • Go to a crowded place, demand everyones attention, then show a slideshow of your niece's best friends housekeepers baby.  And puppies.

What else?